Uncle Mike’s Original Fart Book – Phartus Precipitous, Infantus, McPhartus, Popcornus, and Fowlfetus

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PHARTUS PRECIPITOUS

This is the famous Dripping Fart and is usually a very alarming experience for the producer. The producer may assume, and generally correctly, that he has produced something different than he had intended. Phartus precipitous is usually followed by a quick trip to the bathroom for checking. Usually a change of underwear is in order. There is no way know at the present time to avoid or predict

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the occurrence of the phartus precitpitous.

PHARTUS INFANTUS

The Pudding Fart is usually produced by infants and younger children not yet toilet trained. It is accompanied by a residue similar to that left by the phartus precipitous. However, a closer examination will usually yield a more refined breakdown.

Phartus infantus will usually fall into the sub-specii of phartus infantus chocolatus, phartus infantus bananacus, or phartus infatnus mustardus. Other exotic varieties have also been reported.

PHARTUS McPHARTUS

This is the famous Fast Food Fart, caused from continual patronage of fast food establishments. It usually has the odor of all-beef patties, special sauce, cheese, lettuce, onions, pickles, sesame seed buns, french fries, fish and chips, fried chicken, hot apple pies, and chocolate shakes – all consumed in three and a half minutes.

PHARTUS POPCORNIS

This variety is similar to the phartus irritus, since it is slightly discomforting. It is usually of the phartus phartus variety and characterized by a warm and dry feeling and a popping sound.

PHARTUS FOWLFETUS

This is the well know Egg Fart. It is generally recognized

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by its odor alone, which usually makes it of the phartus maximus sub-division. A closely related specii of the phartus fowlfetus is the phartus fowlfetus mobilus, which occurs in automobiles on long trips or vacations. It is a quite distinct variety..
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