Gonzo Picks: Body Slam Vs Disorderlies Hey! So seeing as it’s my turn to decide on another tasty movie for the Gonzo Guys to tackle, I figured I would send my pick to the people. Yes, that’s right, we are going for a voting round yet once again. Now, last Epidose’s journey to the naughty middle ages forced me to look at another dark period of history: The 80’s. Most of the music sucked but fortunately the movies were cheese filled and dripping with dipping suace. Now it’s up to you to pick which movie will scarf down: Continue reading Gonzo Picks: Body Slam Vs Disorderlies
Found this little gem at a joint called “The Hill” here in the wilds of Wichita. A tasty little libation, but with just a little umph’ behind it…like the kick of a geriatric mule. I feel like it is the drink of a charmingly evil, southern gentleman enjoys as he plots to defame the town’s do-gooder sheriff. I am also pretty sure Joe Don Baker probably drinks A LOT of these.
The next question is what film would I watch as I drink this beauty? Obviously it would be Mitchell, but that is the easy answer. In the land of Gonzo Guys, we don’t do easy…we do odd.
The Gonzo answer is without a shadow of a doubt is…
“Hanzo the Razor: Who’s Got the Gold?”
If you haven’t seen this gem from Japan, you are missing out. One of a series of samurai detective stories, the movies are all pretty good little mystery-action mash ups…with one twist. Hanzo tortures his man parts regularly to become the ultimate lover to aid in him gaining information from women. Basically he pours hot and cold water over his junk and then he bangs a burlap sack of rice. He also has a seductive rustic hot tub with a hidden pokey weapons panel. I need to stress that the plots and most aspects of these movies are quite good even without the weird schwantz torture. Now back to how The Parkwood made me think of this movie. Basically it is a sophisticated drink that has a bite and twist to it. Hanzo the Razor is a sophisticated film with a dongy twist. Also appropriate is the inclusion of blood orange liqueur as Hanzo spills a lot of blood with this kick ass spiked ball chain thing. I see my glass is now empty, better order round 2.
Here at the Gonzo Guys network we work primarily in making sillies about motion pictures. While that is all well and good, we all like to tiptoe around the edges of the regular world and see what makes it tick. I, in particular, have become quite fond of beverages known as “girl drinks.”
What is a “girl drink” you say? It sounds sexist, you say? Well I don’t know that fruity, sweet, or otherwise fancy-pants named boozed up bevies really are important enough to carry any kind of political heft. If you are indeed bothered the term “girl drink” you may take solace in that I, more often than not, will simply refer to these entries as G2D2. Both to avoid any unnecessary controversy and because it reminds me of Star Wars which makes me feel warm in my tum tum. I would also note that many a fine fella enjoys the aforementioned sweetly titled and tasty libations. Basically, any drink at any given time could be considered both a guy and a girl drink. Drinks are scientifically hermaphroditic by default. Where did the impetus for this column originate, you ask? Have look-see at the clip below:
I think it is quite obvious a column was needed. In the coming days, weeks, years, & eons, look for succinct (or unwieldy wordy) write ups of various kinds of tarted up hooch. I promise tangents galore and many comic and film references. I am even going to review a drink otherwise fictional until Gonzo Mike cooked up a recipe…the Chocolate Choo Choo. If you don’t get that reference, you skipped the video you monster!
Look for the inaugural write up this week. Keep an eye out in the coming weeks for the mind bending, earth shattering, spellbinding take on the now immortal Chocolate Choo Choo!
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Just one section of interpretation is not enough.
Settle into your parlors this is about to get real. I give you:
Abby 2: A Poem in the Key of Notes
Abby 2 (These notes can be poetry?)
Long George- she is pretty damn terrifying – music is scary
Whooped Emmet’s ass
Is she possessed or just really honest without much tact?
2nd call, Mr. Compassion Dad is just oh OK well give her my best about the killing….
CAT scan looked more like an amusement park ride
Is it bad that the cursing demon made me laugh?
Yours in Gonzo,
How best to sum up a blaxsploitation Exorcist knock-off? The timeless, parlor art of poetry….
Abby 1 (a speculative deconstruction)
Theeees us- and he calls her a dummy
People over the top nice to one another
Chicken self mutilation/ scary ass nails
Screeching steam shower
Call to dad in Nigeria, thanks for nothing you ass
I am not your ho
Foot to the nuts, think I would prefer projectile green vomit- maniac laughter
The hot, dry season in Texas, yes we only have one season down here, led me to a massive discovery that I now must share with you. And my what a lovely opportunity as well. Of all the searches of all the Googles, I’ve yet to find any information on this so it’s my job to show you what I’m talking about. Oh, “What is it?”, you say? It’s Booger Darts. Continue reading Booger Darts
So after struggling through my neat vintage Aiwa home theater Goodwill grab and nearly crunching the tap on the Phone Antics tape, I finally found a way to get the sound off. For those who don’t remember, the holiday Epidose featured a gift exchange that included this weird looking Phone Antics tape. Welp, I dug an old Walkman and was able to play the tape in its entirety. A Gonzo tape indeed. Continue reading You Have Entered the Phone Zone
A taste of the
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