Uncle Mike’s Original Fart Book – Phartus Militarus, Boogieus, Aqueous Mobilus, and Coitus

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PHARTUS MILITARUS

This is the well known Military, or Marching Fart.  It is common in the areas of military bases, more so in those bases utilized specifically and entirely for basic training of new recruits.  It is usually of the phartus phartus variety and is sometimes preceded by the word “sir”.  It carries the odor of chipped beef on toast and sometimes that of powdered eggs. Continue reading Uncle Mike’s Original Fart Book – Phartus Militarus, Boogieus, Aqueous Mobilus, and Coitus

Uncle Mike’s Original Fart Book – Phartus Automobilus, Johndeerus, Locomotis, and Marinus

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PHARTUS AUTOMOBILUS

The Automobile, Auto, or Car Fart accounts for the majority of the phartus mobilus. It is prevalent at all hours of the day in all developed countries throughout the world. Between the hours of 7:00 a.m. and 9:00 a.m., and again between 4:00 p.m. and 6:00 p.m., there is a heavy concentration of phartus automobilus production, especially in areas surrounding major cities. Phartus transitus and phartus transitus subterraneous are also prevalent at these times. There seems also to be

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a minor peak activity between 8:00 p.m. and 1:00 a.m. on Fridays and Saturdays. Continue reading Uncle Mike’s Original Fart Book – Phartus Automobilus, Johndeerus, Locomotis, and Marinus

Uncle Mike’s Original Fart Book – THE MOBILE FART (Phartus Mobilus)

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THE MOBILE FART

(Phartus Mobilus)

Phartus mobilus is, as

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the name implies, a fart produced while in motion. The basic or well known types are listed below with a brief description of each type. Continue reading Uncle Mike’s Original Fart Book – THE MOBILE FART (Phartus Mobilus)

Uncle Mike’s Original Fart Book – Phartus Precipitous, Infantus, McPhartus, Popcornus, and Fowlfetus

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PHARTUS PRECIPITOUS

This is the famous Dripping Fart and is usually a very alarming experience for the producer. The producer may assume, and generally correctly, that he has produced something different than he had intended. Phartus precipitous is usually followed by a quick trip to the bathroom for checking. Usually a change of underwear is in order. There is no way know at the present time to avoid or predict

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the occurrence of the phartus precitpitous. Continue reading Uncle Mike’s Original Fart Book – Phartus Precipitous, Infantus, McPhartus, Popcornus, and Fowlfetus