Uncle Mike’s Original Fart Book – Phartus Militarus, Boogieus, Aqueous Mobilus, and Coitus



This is the well known Military, or Marching Fart.  It is common in the areas of military bases, more so in those bases utilized specifically and entirely for basic training of new recruits.  It is usually of the phartus phartus variety and is sometimes preceded by the word “sir”.  It carries the odor of chipped beef on toast and sometimes that of powdered eggs.


The Dancing Fart is not a new variety.  However, it has recently undergone a change.  In fact, Phartology researchers have lately considered changing the name to phartus discois.

The Dancing Fart  has been around for many years and has had several names over the years.  A few of the better known include phartus foxtrotis, phartus jitterbuggis, phartus twistus, and phartus blackbottomis.

Phartus boogieus is usually most prevalent in the evening hours and sometimes resembles the odor of pizza and beer.


This is the famous Swimming Fart.  It is closely related to the phartus aqueous staticus (Bathtub Fart.  See page 19).  It is common in swimming pools around the world and in country lakes and ponds.  It is somewhat more often experienced while skinny dipping.


This is the Whoopie Fart and is common among both men and women.  It is produced during intercourse and is usually of the phartus phartus or phartus minimus variety.  It is usually a lot of fun!  Partus coitus is more common in both sexes when small women have sex with large men.fartbookbacksmall