Uncle Mike’s Original Fart Book – Phartus Majoris, Post Majoris, and Cellulous



This is one of the most common types of phartus staticus and is usually known as the Dinner Fart.  The output will usually reflect the producer’s lunch intake.  It has been cited as the cause of many family arguments, but should be noted that the phartus majoris is, in fact, not more than a scapegoat for a more deeply rooted family problem.


This variety is better known as the After Dinner Fart.  Sometimes known as the Television Fart, this type is quiet common in homes throughout the world, especially during the evening and early morning hours.  It is even more often produced in areas provided with 24 hour television broadcasting.

Phartus post majoris may be reminiscent of the olfactory sensations produced by potato chips, beer, peanuts, corn chips, chocolate chips cookies, popcorn (not to be confused with the Popcorn Fart), or any of a variety of junk foods.


Phartus cellulous, commonly known as the Theater Fart, is very similar to the phartus post majoris, however, it is more common in the earlier evening hours and especially on week-ends.  It may be of the phartus anonymous, phartus whisperus, sub-specii and upon repeated occurrence may allow the producer an extra seat or two nearby for holding a coat or purse.