Uncle Mike’s Original Fart Book – Animal Farts


(Phartus Animalius)

The following is a breakdown of several of the better known varieties of p. animalius. Although this family of farts is quite large, space prohibits listing the lesser known varieties. Therefore, we have only listed those most usually encountered.


This is the common Fish Fart. It is quite similar to the phartus aqueous, but may be sub-divided into two varieties: the phartus ichythiosis and phartus ichythiosis salinus. Further division renders p. bassis, p. bluegillis, p. crappius, p. carpus, p. channel cattus, p. troutis, etc., as well as p. sharkus, p. grouperis, p. salmonis, p. tunis, and so forth.

It should be remembered that when classifying the p. ichythiosis, one must specify salinus in the main classification if such is the case.


Also known as the Cow Fart, this variety is common on dairy and beef farms. It may be sub-divided into p. bovinus herfordus, p. bovinus angusis, p. bovinus jerseyis, etc. This variety usually smells of grass, corn, and salt.


The Horse Fart, as it is commonly known, is more prevalent in the Western and Southwestern states than in the industrialized Northern areas. It may be further broken down into p. equineis palominois, p. equineis pintois, p. equineis appalaosis, etc.

This variety usually smells of oats and hay.


The p. audobonis is the scientific name for the Bird Fart. These are very low in volume and quite rare, usually occurring during flight. This category may be sub-divided into p.audobonis canaris, p. audobonis parakeetis, p. audobonis hawkis, p. audobonis chickenis, to name only a few of the many types that have been reported.