It should be noted that the phartus domesticus, or Housewife Fart, is oderless. No wives produce any farts that smell. This is a well know n fact and should be here noted. However, it should be noted that divorced women will occasionally produce what is known as the phartus domesticus separatus. This variety will have an odor. Also, women who have been married twice have known to produce the phartus domesticus II version. This variety, too, has an odor. Continue reading Uncle Mike’s Original Fart Book – Note→
The Parted Fart, as it is commonly known, is a special category and will fall into one of the five broad classifications above. This strange phenomenon occurs when a fart is produced in two or more short bursts, each appearing to be individual and separate. This may indeed be the case.
Farts (family Phartus) can be divided by their basic characteristics into two major sub-families: your farts and the farts of someone else. These two sub-families are definite and do not overlap. Even the most novice of fart students can usually tell into which of these two sub-families all farts will fall. Continue reading Uncle Mike’s Original Fart Book – The Family→
So after struggling through my neat vintage Aiwa home theater Goodwill grab and nearly crunching the tap on the Phone Antics tape, I finally found a way to get the sound off. For those who don’t remember, the holiday Epidose featured a gift exchange that included this weird looking Phone Antics tape. Welp, I dug an old Walkman and was able to play the tape in its entirety. A Gonzo tape indeed. Continue reading You Have Entered the Phone Zone→
Uncle Mike was born in the Missouri Ozarks in 1924. He lived in the woods and was basically a hermit. His life was meager and he barely managed to get by. He was a very intelligent man and spent his life studying the flora and fauna of the Ozark woods and conducted scientific experiments. Everyone assumed he would one day die in the woods that he had loved those many years. Continue reading Uncle Mike’s Original Fart Book – About Uncle Mike…→