This variety, commonly known as the Running, Jumping, or Jogging Fart, is encountered at athletic events, track meets, boxing matches, in the park or at the Olympics. It is usually of the phartus maximus variety. It may resemble orange juice or breakfast cereals in order. Continue reading Uncle Mike’s Original Fart Book – Phartus Exhaustus And Classifications
The Automobile, Auto, or Car Fart accounts for the majority of the phartus mobilus. It is prevalent at all hours of the day in all developed countries throughout the world. Between the hours of 7:00 a.m. and 9:00 a.m., and again between 4:00 p.m. and 6:00 p.m., there is a heavy concentration of phartus automobilus production, especially in areas surrounding major cities. Phartus transitus and phartus transitus subterraneous are also prevalent at these times. There seems also to be a minor peak activity between 8:00 p.m. and 1:00 a.m. on Fridays and Saturdays. Continue reading Uncle Mike’s Original Fart Book – Phartus Automobilus, Johndeerus, Locomotis, and Marinus
Phartus mobilus is, as the name implies, a fart produced while in motion. The basic or well known types are listed below with a brief description of each type. Continue reading Uncle Mike’s Original Fart Book – THE MOBILE FART (Phartus Mobilus)
The phartus botanicus, or Yard Fart, occurs outdoors. It is commonly associated with menial tasks such as mowing the lawn, raking leaves, cleaning gutters, spreading fertilizer, etc. It is usually of the phartus phartus variety. This type is closely associated with the phartus botanicus mobilus which is identical in characteristics but falls under the phartus mobilus species.
Also known as the Sleeping Fart, this type occurs during sleep and is usually unnoticed by the producer. It is commonly reported however in dormitories, military barracks, and on camping outings.
The Laughing Fart occurs during periods of hysterical laughter. It is uncontrollable and usually develops in a spiral fart loop, i.e., the laughter produces the fart, which causes more laughter, which produces another fart, which causes more laughter, etc., etc.
This is the common Housewife Fart. It is usually experienced during such activities as ironing, cleaning the oven, vacuuming, washing dishes, making beds, reading the newspaper or using the Johnny mop. It is usually of the phartus phartus variety.
The Parted Fart, as it is commonly known, is a special category and will fall into one of the five broad classifications above. This strange phenomenon occurs when a fart is produced in two or more short bursts, each appearing to be individual and separate. This may indeed be the case.
Continue reading Uncle Mike’s Original Fart Book – Phartus Interruptus and Phartus Whisperus