Category Archives: Uncle Mike’s Original Fart Book

Uncle Mike’s Orginial Fart Book – Phartus Insectus And Phartus Swinus

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PHARTUS INSECTUS

This is the Bug Fart. It is small. It is short. And it is hard to hear. Common varieties include p. mosquitois, p. flyis, p. dragnoflyis, p. locustis, p. spiderus, and p. gnatis. Continue reading Uncle Mike’s Orginial Fart Book – Phartus Insectus And Phartus Swinus

Uncle Mike’s Original Fart Book – Phartus Caninis, Felinus, and Reptillius

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PHARTUS CANINIS

This is the famous and well known Dog Fart. It is prevalent in most homes that house members of the canine family. The p. caninis is usually high in OOU’s and can smell like anything imaginable. It is also known as the “Hi. How Do You Do” Fart. Continue reading Uncle Mike’s Original Fart Book – Phartus Caninis, Felinus, and Reptillius

Uncle Mike’s Original Fart Book – Animal Farts

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ANIMAL FARTS
(Phartus Animalius)

The following is a breakdown of several of the better known varieties of p. animalius. Although this family of farts is quite large, space prohibits listing the lesser known varieties. Therefore, we have only listed those most usually encountered. Continue reading Uncle Mike’s Original Fart Book – Animal Farts

Uncle Mike’s Original Fart Book – Phartus Exhaustus And Classifications

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PHARTUS EXHAUSTUS

This variety, commonly known as the Running, Jumping, or Jogging Fart, is encountered at athletic events, track meets, boxing matches, in the park or at the Olympics. It is usually of the phartus maximus variety. It may resemble orange juice

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or breakfast cereals in order. Continue reading Uncle Mike’s Original Fart Book – Phartus Exhaustus And Classifications

Uncle Mike’s Original Fart Book – Phartus Militarus, Boogieus, Aqueous Mobilus, and Coitus

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PHARTUS MILITARUS

This is the well known Military, or Marching Fart.  It is common in the areas of military bases, more so in those bases utilized specifically and entirely for basic training of new recruits.  It is usually of the phartus phartus variety and is sometimes preceded by the word “sir”.  It carries the odor of chipped beef on toast and sometimes that of powdered eggs. Continue reading Uncle Mike’s Original Fart Book – Phartus Militarus, Boogieus, Aqueous Mobilus, and Coitus

Uncle Mike’s Original Fart Book – Phartus Automobilus, Johndeerus, Locomotis, and Marinus

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PHARTUS AUTOMOBILUS

The Automobile, Auto, or Car Fart accounts for the majority of the phartus mobilus. It is prevalent at all hours of the day in all developed countries throughout the world. Between the hours of 7:00 a.m. and 9:00 a.m., and again between 4:00 p.m. and 6:00 p.m., there is a heavy concentration of phartus automobilus production, especially in areas surrounding major cities. Phartus transitus and phartus transitus subterraneous are also prevalent at these times. There seems also to be

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a minor peak activity between 8:00 p.m. and 1:00 a.m. on Fridays and Saturdays. Continue reading Uncle Mike’s Original Fart Book – Phartus Automobilus, Johndeerus, Locomotis, and Marinus

Uncle Mike’s Original Fart Book – THE MOBILE FART (Phartus Mobilus)

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THE MOBILE FART

(Phartus Mobilus)

Phartus mobilus is, as

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the name implies, a fart produced while in motion. The basic or well known types are listed below with a brief description of each type. Continue reading Uncle Mike’s Original Fart Book – THE MOBILE FART (Phartus Mobilus)

Uncle Mike’s Original Fart Book – Phartus Precipitous, Infantus, McPhartus, Popcornus, and Fowlfetus

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PHARTUS PRECIPITOUS

This is the famous Dripping Fart and is usually a very alarming experience for the producer. The producer may assume, and generally correctly, that he has produced something different than he had intended. Phartus precipitous is usually followed by a quick trip to the bathroom for checking. Usually a change of underwear is in order. There is no way know at the present time to avoid or predict

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the occurrence of the phartus precitpitous. Continue reading Uncle Mike’s Original Fart Book – Phartus Precipitous, Infantus, McPhartus, Popcornus, and Fowlfetus

Uncle Mike’s Original Fart Book – Phartus Communicus, Irritus, and Aqueous

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PHARTUS COMMUNICUS

Phartus communicus, or the Telephone Fart as it is commonly called, is usually produced during telephone conversations. It may occur while dialing, or while

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line, but more often is experienced during the actual conversation. Continue reading Uncle Mike’s Original Fart Book – Phartus Communicus, Irritus, and Aqueous